It's Not Plagiarism if it's Genetic

My father has established a blog to track his long-term self-improvement and brain science odyssey. As I was proofreading his latest, as-yet unpublished, entry (that's right, Robb Best fans, I have the inside scoop! This one's a good one, too) it occurred to me that it feels a little weird to be outblogged by my dad. Outblogged by my hip older brother? Sure, why not? (Check out his funny, heartfelt meditation on a fat man eating tamales here.)

But my dad? The man who was present at my birth? The man who has known me so long, he is responsible for not one, not two, but easily a dozen of my silliest nicknames?* There's just something so wrong about that.

So I figured it might be time for yet another resuscitation of my own online journal.

Without further ado, my goals for this summer:

1. Learn to tap dance. I want to be more physically active in general, but tap dancing is an especial aspiration, both because I covet the ability so badly (so classy! so classic! so Gene Kelly-esque!) and because it is such an incredible longshot. I greatly enjoy the "flail around like a crazy person" school of movement, but choreographed dance has always eluded me. I am a girl who is still overwhelmed by the Electric Slide, who spends the whole song dreading the inevitable rotation that will put me at the front. (Have a heart, creators of line dances! Some of us slip into the back row for a reason.) Luckily, my good friend Breezy would be accompanying me, so for the first time in a long time, this one is vaguely possible.

2. Learn to meditate. I'm not looking for Nirvana. I just want to get past the part where my brain can't stop going, "Are you calm yet? Are you calm yet? How about...now? Now? Now!"

3. Master amateur taxidermy. Or psuedo-taxidermy; I'm not so attached to the idea of touching dead animals, I just want to make a life-size flammulated owl. Because look at it! So cute!

4. Finish my steampunk Rose Lalonde costume. The resolution train is taking a brief derailment into Nerd Country for a moment. But let's be honest: if you're reading this, probably there's at least one corner of Nerd Country you can claim as your homeland. Right now, I need to make a short-sleeved grey blouse with a Mandarin collar, which has the plus side of being something I'd wear anyways. 

5. Make a passable (cost-effective?) replica of an old-timey harpoon gun. Self-explanatory.

6. Work enough hours that I can afford to eat like a king. A king that really likes fresh fruits and vegetables, and shops at the Farmer's Market when possible, and makes a lot of baked goods.

7. Edit my old NaNoWriMo project into something that resembles a readable novella. Fix the pacing. Give the characters actual conflicts. Come up with an ending, for crying out loud. If you can't write a wizard battle, at least find a way to write around the freaking wizard battle! (Words to...live by?)

7a. ~Optional bonus goal~ Convert the finished product into a radio play, enlisting my friends to perform the parts. I can't decide whether or not this would be enormously narcissistic, but I happen to know a lot of talented amateur actors and honestly it just seems like it could be really fun?

8. Make some clay things for the express purpose of selling. Earrings for the Ann Arbor Art Center (preferably before Mother's Day, since that's the last jewelry-buying holiday for some time), jar monsters, maybe finally re-contact Vault of Midnight about stocking some creatures there.

9. Find some new music. I have a bad tendency to just wait until the aforementioned brother (and occasionally also my mom) recommends a new band. But given the near-infinite amount of good stuff out there, I really don't have any excuse to be lazy about this.

10. Play some music! Collaborate with people any time the opportunity comes up. Maybe even perform somewhere. People's Food Co-op doesn't require you to audition or anything; it would be an easy enough start.

11. Organize more food-related adventures with other people. Picnics, tea parties, themed parties, cookouts, cooking experiments, cooking in locations where cooking is not generally expected.

12. Take advantage of all the local museums before I move. Om nom nom knowledge.

13. Move around more! Even if the dreams of tappin' up a storm fall through, that's no excuse to spend all my time stationary. Especially considering the research linking exercise to brain health oh God oh God I have become my father, it's too late...

14. Write with some regularity in some form, any form. Even if it's only updating this blog in a halfway consistent manner. The easiest way to not feel like a writer is to NOT WRITE ANYTHING; you'd think I would have figured this out by now.


So there we have it, my own 14 goals.

Your move, Mom...

*For the record: Birdy Khana, Birdy K, Birdy, Bird, "Birdy Hana as Sammy would say", The Great...Bairdy Khana (spoken with a heavy Scottish accent and the pause in the middle is essential), B, BK, Birdikiwa, Birdicus, Birdysseus, Beaky, Beaks, Beaky Von D, Beaky Von Doodle, Beaky von Doodley Doo, Beaky von Deaks, etc. Also, sometimes he calls me Jess.